Monday, 14 March 2011

The Ultimate Guide to Sixth Form Lads - Part 3 (The Finale)


At long last, we have arrived at the final section of the Ultimate Guide to Sixth Form Lads. Sadly, next week will continue with the regularly scheduled programming (of awesome, but still). So, here it is, the end of the trilogy:

The Indies
A question I frequently get asked by people on the far side of the generation gap is what an Indie is. Who are they? What defines them? Why do you keep saying these clothes from Top Man and H&M are ‘Indie’? (Just kidding... I don’t shop at Top Man. Or H&M). Well, Indie is, I suppose, a culture... sort of. They have their own music, type of clothes and annoying cliquey group who are determined to say they aren’t Indie or cliquey, then continue to box you out of the circle and listen to the song on their mate’s iPod, which can be distinctly seen bulging out of the tiny pocket of their way too skinny jeans. They are often pretty thin (otherwise no Indie clothes would fit, which would of course make them look stupid...) and wear clothes a few sizes too small, and with lots of colours. Skinny jeans and that Top Man T-shirt with the v-neck and different colours on the sleeve and neck rims are necessities, and wearing shirts out of school if fine, as long as the top button is ALWAYS done up fully, so your airway is blocked off and you nearly suffocate. Well, we all suffer for fashion, right?
This crowd can be nice, mind, and are often quite witty and very good at english. At the very least, they make amusing mates, even if you don’t want to dress like a multi-coloured gymnast.

The Chavs
Since I’m already stereotyping, I might as well go ahead and say you mostly get these guys at state-schools. There, I said it. And to be perfectly honest, it’s true; no kid able to afford a private school, even with money off, can be a chav, no matter how hard they may try. Those people are called wanna-be chavs (see below). The chavs wear hoddies so often many don’t know what each others’ hair, or faces, look like, and speak in a language that was once English long ago, but has since evolved (or, devolved) into a new version, with lots of slang thrown in there and with its own accent. These people think they’re really tough and hard (which, really, they usually are), and are fairly aggressive and quick to get into fights. That said, there are a few nice chavs out there, you just have to earn their respect, kind of like a tribe of gorillas or cave-people. This can be done by defeating the alpha-male, nicking something valuable (ish) or scalping small animals... worrying, really.

The Wanna-be Chavs
These are the people who try desperately to convince the world that despite their reasonable or even large house (and wealth), they’re as ‘hard’ as it gets. Never mind the complete lack of a life of hardship, or time in ‘the hood’, these guys really try to act like chavs. The result? A pretty see-through act and a person that makes it really hard NOT to want to hit them. They usually appear at private schools, grammar schools or fairly nice state-school, though not for very long. The theory goes that there are actually very few of them, they just get bounced from school to school so often it seems like there are lots of them.

So, that’s it. Or at least, those are all the types I can think of, but if you’re sitting at home shouting at the computer screen that I’ve missed a type (which is entirely possible), post it in the comments section below and I’ll add it to the guide! If you want to contribute and don’t have a google account, email/facebook/give me a note in person with your type and I’ll happily add it to the complete guide, which appear as one full page some time soon (hopefully), with a link at the top of my blog!

Have a good week!
         -Jamie

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